Jem Rolls Leastest Flops: rhyming couplets on PCPs

Jem Rolls: a tosser's revenge...

The analgesic properties of PCPs can cause users to feel less pain, and persist in violent or injurious acts as a result.

Jem Rolls? Funny? I'm sorry, it's not,
Jem Rolls, Leastest is a flop.
It's a non-starter
'cause the audience is smarter
than a bag of hammers –
why listen to the yammer
of a yowling punter
performing half-baked stunts to
show off his vocab.
to show that he's all that
to show that he's badder and madder and radder –
reciting doggerel at machine-gun speed,
one wonders if he's learned to read?
Is he a product of hooked on phonics
who now inflicts us with these painful sonics?
A tosser's revenge
from the land of Stonehenge,
lowbrow culture
from a theatrical vulture
who picks over comedic cadavers
in search of bon mots to blather.

Jem Rolls discovered the Canadian Fringe
he got on the circuit, he went on a binge
Jem Rolls go home to the White Cliffs of Dover
Jem Rolls Leastest – I'm glad that it's over.

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By Kirstie McCallum